Guest blogger Lorna Wallace shares her experience of a certain difficult audience member…
For a lot of PhD researchers, presenting at conferences is one of the most intimidating things to do and understandably so. Presenting your own ideas to a crowd of experts is a daunting prospect for anyone, but doubly so when you already struggle with public speaking (as I do!). I was given a variety of tips to prepare, with the most common one being to imagine the audience naked (has anyone actually done this? Let me know if it works!). But the second most common thing I was told was that it would be fine and while this was reassuring at the time, unfortunately for me at one of my conferences last summer it was not fine.
I was at my first big conference, suddenly thrown in with a number of eminent scholars in my area. Having spent the whole day a ball of nervous energy I finally presented my 20 minute paper and sat down, thankful that after just a few questions I would be free to go. Sadly I was not asked a thoughtful and inquisitive question; instead the most established academic in the room took the chance to tear my paper apart (and by extension my entire thesis). I argued my case but after some back and forth it was evident that he would not be swayed, instead choosing to glare at me across folded arms in the front row as people in the audience jumped in to defend me.
I felt completely shaken. Was my paper really that bad? Was I totally out of my depth? Was I over reacting to being criticized? People came up to me afterwards to offer their support, confirming that he had been unnecessarily cruel. I felt reassured that I wasn’t over reacting but my sadness turned to anger. Why hadn’t the panel chair mediated the interaction? Why did this senior academic think it appropriate to berate me so publicly rather than speak to me privately afterwards?
My situation was a rare one, but it is one which sometimes happens in academia and being told “it’ll be fine” isn’t helpful. It’s better to tell yourself it’ll probably be fine but then prepare for it going wrong. So here’s my advice.
1. Think about your own personal worst case scenario and plan a solution.
The overhead projector fails? Prep some handouts. People in the audience start chatting? Be bold enough to call them out. You forgot the script for your paper? Have a copy on your phone. Someone asks a hostile question? Defend your paper and try not to take it personally. Covid-19 means the conference is on Zoom? Make sure you’re comfortable with the technology. There really is an answer for almost everything, so make sure you’ve thought of it beforehand.
2. Have a reward in mind as motivation to get you through.
I knew I wouldn’t be up for the conference dinner so instead I had celebration cupcakes with my boyfriend, although at the time they felt like commiseration cupcakes! Every time I felt myself getting anxious throughout the day (which was essentially all the time), I reminded myself that there’d be a treat at the end of it. Even if that treat is something as small as eating your favourite chocolate or buying a book to add to your TBR pile, it’ll help pull you through.
3. Tell yourself that no matter what by the end of that day you’ll be done with it.
No matter what happens with the paper, it will eventually be over. It’s easy to fixate on how awful it’s going to be, but instead try to focus on how good you’re going to feel once you’ve done it. Even if you don’t feel proud of how you performed (but you should feel proud because it’s a massive achievement!), at least you’ll be free from the anxiety it’s been causing.
And remember, if an unkind academic attacks your ideas it probably says a lot more about them than it does about you.
About the Author
Lorna Wallace is a 3rd year PhD student at the University of Stirling. Her doctoral research re-evaluates notions of duty in early modern history plays against humanist and classical ideals. She is particularly interested in the differences and similarities between histories written for the academic stage and those written for the professional stage.
Email: lorna.wallace1@stir.ac.uk
Twitter: @LookingForLorna
SGSAH Blog 
Dear Lorna, I’m so sorry about your experience! Treating a PhD student in such manner, especially in front of an audience, is totally unacceptable. Even if your paper had flaws, there are more constructive ways for “the most established academic in the room” to engage with it and offer advice. You can be critical and kind, the two are not mutually exclusive. In these cases, it is actually the academic in question who is exposed as insecure and arrogant, and rest assured that people will remember their unprofessional and non-collegiate attitude and not their argument – which is a shame, because the rude academic may have actually been right, but it’s impossible for someone to take the criticism constructively in this way.
I also had a similar experience some years ago and all I can say (for what it’s worth) is that keeping calm and professional despite the other person’s behaviour can help. Thanking the rude person for their valuable feedback also works sometimes (although arrogant people usually don’t get the sarcasm). Your last point about unkind academics is spot on. In my case, the criticism actually helped me but it took a long time for me to separate the argument from the person.
Nowadays most conferences set ground rules on being kind and offering respectful and constructive feedback, so hopefully this will mean that such experiences will be a thing of the past. Thank you for sharing this, and I hope it hasn’t discouraged you from sharing your work.
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Dear Katerina, I’m so sorry for this very delayed response, I didn’t see your comment until just now! You’re completely right about being kind and critical. I wish this academic had known that! I had to present at another conference just two weeks after that experience which meant I had to get over feeling discouraged very quickly. Thankfully all the questions I’ve been asked at conferences since then have been really constructive! Thank you for your kind words on my post.
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