Guest blogger Julia Vallius writes about how she tackled one of the most difficult things a PhD student can go through within their project: changing supervisors. She shares the thought process behind this decision and how instigating this change empowered her and helped her project move forward.

They say that writing a PhD is the hardest thing you can do. While it certainly is hard and stressful, it should never cause a severe decline in your mental health. We all commit to the PhD because we love the subject, discipline, or research generally. My love of medieval history drove me to my PhD. However, many of us may be familiar with how researchers are exploited due to their love of the subject. We are pushed too hard, expected to do more than we have time for, or spread ourselves too thin. Modern expectations with different disciplines and departments become suffocating. We often feel like we cannot advocate for ourselves in the face of ‘important’ staff members or an institution unwilling to hear our concerns.

For me, the expectations I was faced with in my project turned into an undercurrent that swept me far away from the shore of my project. I felt stuck and uninspired with my work and nothing I did or wrote seemed to change the course of my thesis. I spent two and half years fighting against my supervisors and what I felt were the constraints of my discipline but were actually problems within my project. It occurred to me that one supervisor from my team was the wrong fit in the project but also a wrong fit for me. Everything was perfect on paper, but in reality, I was made to feel insecure and worried. I realised that I had to make a big change and remove one of my supervisors if I was to finish my thesis. It was scary because it felt like I was facing off against important people at my institution for what felt like ‘silly’ reasons.

I first spoke to my supervisor who I wasn’t replacing, making sure they knew what was happening. I then spoke to my College who were helpful and guided me in my next steps, alongside my remaining supervisor. Many emails were sent with explanations of why I wanted this change, and I had a meeting with the head of my department to discuss the impact this would have on my project. I had three separate meetings to talk about this whole issue. I was told that there might be difficulties arising from this change, but I believed that those difficulties were worth it. It was worth advocating for myself and trusting that I knew what was best for my project.

When we do our PhDs, it can feel difficult to set boundaries and create your own direction for the thesis. We see other staff members working intensively, we are introduced to publication demands and admin work that needs to be done alongside the PhD, let alone all the internships, volunteer work and actual work many of us do to make us more competitive for a tough academic job market. I struggled to find and understand those boundaries because they were never shown to me. When I decided to move in my own direction and change one of my supervisors, I set a standard for myself and what works best for me. It was empowering and enabled me to progress in such a significant way, I cannot believe I didn’t make changes sooner.

With the current climate in academic institutions, being firm and making your own way through a PhD or any research project feels intimidating. However, if we truly love our disciplines and our research, advocating for ourselves and our work is what makes the research great and impactful.

Cover photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash.